placeheld | bodyguard shipping meme >> for @heroproceeding

It's been a surprisingly fun few weeks in Midgar, but today it's coming to an end. Artemis lounges around in bed as long as possible, nursing a hangover because apparently people just do that here, but eventually someone in a dark suit shows up to collect him with a distinctly unimpressed air.

That makes two of us, Artemis thinks, and ignores the guy as he wanders around his suite packing up. It's another hour - nearly noon - by the time he's finished trying to shove a lot of shopping he'd done in the city into the already overstuffed bags he'd come with. By the time Artemis is sliding his oversized sunglasses protectively over his eyes there are more than a few cracks in the suit's professional demeanor. A few more appear as Artemis hands him two suitcases and a backpack. Should have sent a bellboy instead of a jailer. Artemis, Turk, four suitcases and three backpacks make their way to the elevators in mutually annoyed silence.

It only lasts far enough for Artemis to jam the button to take them to the parking garage where they'll be departing from, unfortunately.

"President Shinra sends his apologies for not sending you off in person."

"I'm sure he does." Artemis really couldn't care less.

"He wishes you a safe journey back," the Turk continues, ignoring the interjection. "and hopes that you'll give his regards to President Hart."

"I'm sure I will." Artemis absolutely won't. He's seen exactly what ShinRa wanted him to see here, and he'll pass that on if he has to. The way ShinRa's building a super-soldier army is pretty concerning, or would be if Artemis actually cared about CITIE at all these days. Or anything.

He wants a drink. Or breakfast.

He doesn't get either of those. What he does get is one of ShinRa's little human experiments waiting on him by the car. An important one, too. Artemis had seen the man running drills for a group of them, clearly in charge, clearly at ease just a few days ago. Not the butcher, not Sephiroth, but... What had it been?

"Fair," says the Turk. Artemis snaps his fingers and points.

"Zack, right?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Used to a pain in the ass. Got it.

[ Zack blurts it out before he can think better of it. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Probably not. He's letting out a deep, loud sigh as he slumps forward to rest his head a moment on the dash anyway.

Maybe he should buckle himself in, but he'll do it in a moment. As it stands, he just mutters into his arms. ]

I'd rather be fighting a dragon.

And I'd still rather have the hot redheaded one, but we've been over this already.

[ Artemis really doesn't think he's as bad as fighting a dragon, but he's also not sure he cares. He pulls the car a little further up the line and orders a 18 donuts and two coffees, since Zack won't tell him if he wants them or not. ]

Are you going to complain the whole trip? Is the stick up your butt standard issue?

The stick up the ass is reserved for Sephiroth, thanks.

[ He mutters it reflexively. Pauses as he thinks on what he just said. And then just shrugs and keeps his face pressed against his arms for just a little bit longer. But he can't be staying like that and he knows it.

And for that matter, arguing further with the client probably won't do him or anyone else any favors either. It's going to be a long trip as it is. Grunting to himself, he finally flops back into his seat before he sits up and reaches around to his ass pocket. The reason why he does so becomes clear as he pulls out his wallet and pulls out a card that he hands over shortly after. ] Here.

Wow. [ Artemis accepts the card with a slightly nonplussed look, utterly unused to people handing him money. He's usually the one paying for absolutely everything because it's not as if it would make the smallest dent in his bank account.

He's not pointing that out to Captain Uptight over here, though. ] No wonder you were so defensive of him! You should have said something.

Said what?

[ Zack's got a funny look on his face as he eyes Artemis up now. At least it seems more perplexed than anything this time as he waits for the order to be paid for and the card to be returned to him. ]

How much you liked Sephiroth handling your stick.

[ Yeah, Artemis is definitely laughing at him now and not even making an attempt to hide it when when he's trying to flash a flirty smile at the girl working the drive through line. She's giving the two of them a perplexed look as she swipes the card and hands it back. ]

[ Zack just stares at him with an utterly unimpressed look. Sure, maybe a year ago, he'd be far more animated about this. Especially over Sephiroth of all people. But as it is, he ends up rolling his eyes. ]

Sure, add that to the list of other chocobo shit people like to write up for his fan club. Wouldn't be the first time someone spread a rumor like that.

[ Despite trying to keep his cool though, he's waving a hand in front of Artemis impatiently for that card now. ]

Fan clubs?

[ Artemis tosses the card back at Zack without really looking. He lands it in Zack's hand mostly by accident. ]

Please, that's amateur hour. By the time we make it home you'll be upgraded to the tabloids, promise.

[ Zack takes that card back and pockets it easily at least. Ends up leaning back in his seat and taking a deep breath, exhaling audibly as he answers. It leaves his voice airy. Almost a little bored. ]

I'd rather not be in the tabloids just cause I'm someone's escort lapdog, thanks. Heh, who knew I'd miss getting covered in malboro breath?

I promise sitting in my lap is better than fighting a malboro.

[ Artemis thinks, anyway. He's only got the vaguest idea of what a malboro is, because CITIE doesn't have half the monster problem that Shinra's territories do. He isn't sure if he's hoping they run into one, or if he's afraid of it.

He accepts the donuts and coffee from the next window and passes them over with a smile that's at least trying to be winning. ]

Though - dragons, malboros. Is that what's got you so tense? You're mad you're not out there fighting something?

[ Zack's initial answer to that ends up being a bodily jerk. He gives Artemis a look for his efforts. Not exactly a glare but he's far from impressed either. Takes that coffee and those donuts next and he might have already gone ahead and opened the box. Might have taken a big ol' bite full before he reluctantly offers one to Artemis, himself. ]

I didn' 'ign up 'or 'aby'ittin'. [ He gracelessly speaks before finally swallowing. ] And hard pass on the lap sitting. I'd rather smell like something rancid.

No accounting for taste.

[ Artemis reaches past the offered donut to grab a different kind. This is because he wants chocolate and absolutely not to be a shit on purpose.

Honest.

He pulls back into traffic and sets his sights on getting out of the city, though by this time of day the streets are backed up enough that it might take a while yet. ]

I really don't need much watching, you know, and I didn't ask for an escort. Feel free to consider this a vacation.

[ Zack stares at the way Artemis reaches past him, shrugs, and then shoves the very doughnut he offered into his own mouth. Crumbs scatter everywhere, but he decidedly ignores that. Though he does answer the latter with a deadpan glance and a long stare, ignoring his doughnut long enough to note: ] If you didn't need this much watching according to them, I wouldn't'a been sent with you in the first place.

[ And now he's shoving the rest of it in his mouth and adding with as much eloquence as before: ] an' ah'm Firs' 'lass! Firs' 'lass!

bodyguard shipping meme >> for @heroproceeding

no subject

no subject

JESUS CHRIST I let this sit for longer than I thought

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject